Lol guess where I am now. I'm in the school com lab..lol.. During Chinese lesson. The teacher blur blur wan..We can do wadever as long as she doesnt notice..Lol Aaron watchin Friends on YouTube..

There's Cell tonight..They changed the timing again. Its quite late. I hope I dun get home too late or Saturday I cant go for dinner.. I'm trying to get YiSheng to come tomorrow for service. But duno la..He like not interested.. I askin him to get his friend along too. I think if she comes he will too.

Wahahaha~ so sianz. I got nothing to do now...Cant wait for service tomorrow ~ Oh.. Who has the song Come Holy Spirit.. Tryin to find it.

Thursday - 29/6/06

Hahaz, I'm missing sch today ~ lol.

Erms..Yesterday was fun. Aaron, Nicole and I went to Clementi's Pizza Hut cuz got voulcher. We had the hawaiian lover's cheese crust and the super supreme. Lol Nicole found a small hair in the last slice of pizza and she got a free pizza! She pro la..

We saw Weijie, Joshua Lim and Charmaine frm the Chiang Mai trip there too. There was another girl.. E-lis I think. Forget liaos lol.

Ya then spent a lot of time walking around Big Bookshop. I got a lot of things for my friend ~ I hope he is coming with me on Saturday for church ~

Blah tmr still got school. And I'm pretty sure there's attire check tmr too. Sianz la..Why cant attire check be today?? Then I wun get caught for my hair.. =.=

sunday - 25/6/06

There's alr school tmr. Warghhhh... Really dont feel like going back. Actually its cuz of the homework la..If there wasnt homework, I wouldnt mind goin back to school. Its fun anyway.

Well..Sianz. I still have work to do so I duno why I'm still here blogging away. Lol ~

I went out today. With Belle, Mike and Lamb. We played pool and all that. Yar. Then went to play around in the arcade. After that we went to Suntec City. I saw my dream phone~! Its alr out. Plus there's an offer now ~ but I dun think I will be able to get it..My mom said she'll think of over.

Spent a very very long time in a Christian bookshop. In the end I bought a Prayer poster for my room..Hahaz I love it.

I envy those who got no sch la! Like Belle...Regret waitin till last min to do homework ...

Someone please give me a new heart so I wont have to feel this way.

It feels deliberate.

thursday - 22/6/06

Its late...I was just off the phone with my cell..I wun be talking too much cuz I'm sittin in the dark and that makes it hard for me to type.

Yar well I had art. Wasnt that productive. Then came home and did a bit of Chem. School's starting soon...

I suddenly got gastric after I got off the phone. Geez ~ I better go sleep now then. I was so looking forward to tomorrow but after the phone call I guess everyone's mood was a little down.

Wednesday - 21/6/06

Hols are ending soon. Went for art today. Praise the Lord it ended early. Whenever I had wanted to leave art or had the tot of pon-ing, it would always end early coincidentally. I think maybe God understood my circumstances.

I took advantage of the early dismissal and went to Toa Payoh to meet Bryan for awhile. We went to play pool...I duno wads with the sidden obsession with pool but yar.. It was fun la. He was way better than me, so if I won, its only because he sunk the black ball before finishing the rest....

He drove me home, and I called Ms Ong to tell her about my decision of which church I wanted to go to. Dont get me wrong; I love FCBC. Just that...I feel closer to God in CHC...I've got great friends there to help me maintain my faith in Him. But after I talked to Ms Ong ... I duno...I felt strange.. She was supportive of my decision. I confided in her about some issues, and she gave good advice.

Dont tell me...The choices I made...was out of desperation for God...for acceptance.

But...When the darkness closes in, still I will choose to say...Blessed Be Your Name

Tuesday - 20/6/06

Where should I start? I went MIA from yesterday morning till tonight. Hmmm. I went out with Belle, Xiufeng and Jon yesterday to Marina Square. It was so fun! We played pool and stuff. Ya. Since Xiufeng and Belle didnt know the fundamental rules about pool, Jon taught them. Ya we played a couple of rounds and had fun. I found a confidante in Jon, just like last time.

We played arcade..N I finally won Jon in Daytona! Even though its a narrow win but yar..Lol I'm proud of myself. Yeah watched Jon play ParaPara and I played a little of the drum thinger..I wanted to play ParaPara too la but the machine was spoilt and it ate my money =.=

Played a little more pool, then went to eat at Swensen's. The night was better still. Jon and I roamed Raffles City while Xiufeng and Belle went to shop ard. Looked at toys and stuff..It was fun hahaz. Yar den went to BK..I wanted to go home alr cuz it was gettin late but Jon confiscated my handphone . . .

Mike met us later, and they wanted to go to Esplanade. My heart ached because of the deja vu's of that place. Since my first visit there, I fell in love with that place, thats why I couldnt resist going tho it was so late. I felt out of place la cuz there were two couples there n I was without a partner -_- I wanted to give them some privacy but everytime I walked away, one of them would surely follow me. Thats why they're great pals! haha. They'd never leave a friend alone for selfish reasons =P

Yar so we went from the rooftop to the riverside..Ya.. I spent the time there talking to Belle and Mike.. Mike started talking about scary stuff..Like phobias and the supernatural..Naturally we'd get scared and I was really afraid to go home. It was really late too. So Belle and I made an impromptu decision to stayover at Jon's..

Yalar..By the time we reached Jon's place..it was rather late. I spent the night watching YouTube and I talked with Jon until 5am. He lent me clothes lol. I slept till 11am..

Watched Anime on CD..Forgot the name hahaz. Yar then Jon left for awhile..Belle and I took care of our lunch ourselves and watched VCD.. Lol. Then ya. It was 4 in a flash, and I borrowed clothes frm Jon again cuz I didnt have any at hand.. Yup then we set off for prayer meeting at YMCA..

The meeting was good. Although since I joined CHC, I've been pulling late nights cuz of cell and service...I hope my parents will understand cuz yar..CHC is going to be a part of my weekly routine and if they dont accept it, I guess its the end to my CHC days. But I have faith that they will accept it and allow me to stay for cell and service.

I got art tmr. Shit. I wish I didnt have!!!! Sigh. Darn it la.

sunday - 18/6/06

Shucks, I've been doing nothing but use the computer since I woke up. I guess that since I dont needa go to FCBC anymore, Sundays are free for me ~

Well have been online, watching vids and reading comics the whole day. And now I'm exhausted. Gonna turn in early I guess, because TMR I'll be going out with Belle, Xiufeng and Jon! Yeah! I've gotten pretty close to Belle through cell and service, but I duno wads gonna happen tmr. They wanna go KBox but I duno if I can afford it ~ I still got school next week too ~

Hmm. I'm still excited though. Nowadays, I feel happiest in church and in the company of them. Will it be like old times?

17/6/06

Today is the 17th of June 2006. I will always remember this date.

I went for CHC service today. The timing changed on the day itself and praise God I managed to get to the station on time with still time to spare. Today's sermon was about Fathers' Day. There was a little skit put on and it was funny and touching at the same time. I was still struggling with the choice of commitment between CHC and FCBC.

Yala so I was, you know, same as last time. Then they asked those who wanted the pastor to pray for them abt their commitment to God to raise their hands when all eyes are closed. Anyway I used to be awfully embarrassed about that, but at CHC, I heard God saying do not be afraid. So I raised my hand. Belle asked me if I'd raised my hand cuz the pastor asked those who did to step to the front. I didnt want to because I felt it was too big a step to take.

Then the pastor said if we take the initiative and take one step towards God, He will take 1000 steps towards us. That made me go to the front. Belle was great; she went with me.

After service..I made a decision..to ask Belle's cell leader about my fear of speaking in tongue. And I realised the only reason I was so afraid was because I felt unaccepted by God. But they prayed for me. And by the grace of God I got it. Its truly a fantastic day.

I never felt so blessed before. Even in my old churches. I ever had people pray for me, or get closer to God through my friends. Belle is a great friend~ thats all I can say, really. If it werent for her..I dont know what I would be like now. I'd probably go to FCBC just for my teacher and stuff like that. I worship God there too, but its nothing like CHC.

Lol~ praise the Lord. N thanks to Belle too~

saturday 17/6/06

I had that dream again. I'd rather not dream sometimes. They make you deluded to think that its happening right then and now. Thats why you wake up scared or happy. I get scared or happy all the time when I'm sleeping. I guess sometimes thats a little odd..

I had a bad start this morning. But well. I'm going to spend the evening praising God! I guess thats something to look forward to. God's startin to speak to me so I wanna...you know. I get to see a few certain people too hahaz.

Zzzz..

friday - 16/6/06

I just came home from W271 cell..It's Belle's cell and she invited Lamb and I along. There were great games and the mini sermon was fantastic. The only downer was that the cell was too big, so they were split into two. I know many people got really upset because they were separated from their close friends and stuff like that. Belle was kind of upset and I hope that she feels better soon..

I prayed about him. I prayed to let me let go. To stop being so naive. It was the hardest thing I ever said. I had to force myself to say it. It hurts so much to know that you yourself had gotten yourself into this kind of predicament, and now you've no choice but to let everything go. How I envy..those who are happy and feel no hurt.

I'm so so tired right now. But I just dont feel like sleeping or what. I still have church tomorrow, and the day after that. I dont think I can take so many days of fellowship in a row.

But I wanna be more onz with God. I feel like I'm not there yet with Him. I've yet to commit everything to Him 100%.

Man I miss him so much.

friday - 16/6/6

Its 10am. I suddenly dont know why I began this entry.

Well, yesterday had its pros and cons. It wasn't a productive day at all, because I realised that I'd lost my homework. But anyway today was supposed to be a day I was really looking forward to since Monday, I think. Then fate played a joke on me and I was really dreading today yesterday.

Yesterday night was a bad night for me..I knew I couldnt face another day emotionally and physically alone at home so I decided to go out. My friend and I took our time in making plans for today. He was a fantastic friend to accept an impromptu suggestion to go out. He knew I was feeling down and I guess going out and leaving all my troubles at home was the best solution at this moment. I didnt want to brood all day at home either.

Yeah, well, after a very, very session of deciding where to go and what to do and what time in order to make it in time for a cell meeting later that early evening. Its not really my first time to a cell, but I've not been to one for a really long time since I left JCC. I still miss JCC sometimes.

I was stupid last night. I didnt keep my tongue in check and my fingers were itchy so I said a whole lot of things I realise I shouldn't've said. I slept around 3am last night beacause I was talking on the phone and on msn too..Didnt feel like sleeping anyway. I couldnt even have peace in the morning when I took my shower. All I heard was constant banging on the door and shouts for me to hurry up. Cant even take my time to brush my teeth. Apparenly my sister was late for a vsit to my grandma.

I'll be leaving in about an hour's time for tiong plaza. We finally decided on Garfield last night. I hope its nice cuz I didnt really like the first one =x

And before the movie is Sakae Sushi! Yeah! I've been longing to eat Sakae for a long, long time. Hahaz, no pun intended. I know nothing will go wrong later. I'm counting on a great time to, you know, let off steam.

Y'know, I realised that actually my problems arent as bad as I'd imagined. I mean, I should be on my knees thanking God that things didnt go to the extreme. At least I didnt get it as bad as Job. And if he could experience so much emotional pain, whats mine beside his? Besides, losing someone that you love and who also loves you can be much worse than losing someone whom you love but doesnt love you back. I guess I should count my blessings.

thursday - 15/6/06

It's another day wasted. All I did today was chat online and play game. I was supposed to take advantage of my free day to finish up as much homework as possible. But of course, since I didnt get started and kept procrastinating, getting down to it got harder and harder.

Well.. I'm kinda lonely today because my sisters are out today, and they have yet to get home..its gonna be 9pm soon. I wonder where are they ...

I'm gettin dumb soon. After not talking much for the whole day, I'm gettin used to keeping silent. Which I guess isnt good. Well, spent the past few hrs listening to YES! 93.3 radio channel.. There were a lot of touching stories about bgrs. They are really similar..Eg, someone likes someone but didnt dare to say anything. Thus that person eventually went with someone else, and regrets start coming in on why they didnt step up and make the first move earlier. Basically they all have the same moral: say I love you to someone you care for or it might be too late. But sometimes its not as easy as it seems. But well. Regrets arent uncommon in this world.

I wanna buy #7 of mAr heaven ~

You scored as Storm. Storm is the seconday team leader of the X-Men. She has a peaceful personality but must be careful since her emotions control her powers. She loves gardening and is afaid of tight spaces. Powers: Control of the Weather Rogue 85% Storm 85% Cyclops 80% Colossus 80% Gambit 75% Iceman 75% Jean Grey 70% Wolverine 70% Beast 70% Emma Frost 45% Nightcrawler 40% Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

wednesday - 14/6/06

Yoz..I havent been updating a lot. Its already eight. SIANZ.

I came home from school about an hour ago. I had art till around 3, then went for a mini remedial with my sis and Ms Thio. We completed 3 Section B papers. Which is good lah. I still had quite a bit of homework left to be done. I cant believe how fast my holiday is whizzing by.

Well..I FINALLY got a presentable layout plan..Which I'm also quite proud of, considering my previous work. Lol. And I've got my cloth and all that alr. Once I finish the layout, I'm free to draw it out on the cloth, paint it, and I'm done! Then there's still paper 2 for prelims and Os =.=

I got an earful from Ms Thio earlier..She said my results were downright disappointing..No more fire lar..lol..Dun feel like studying anymore. But I gotta push myself I guess. Its already the last lap of my Secondary school life. Then its Thailand! Yeah, baby. Lol.

sunday - 11/6/6

Yesterday was really fab! I went to CHC after my art lesson [which ended exceptionally early, praise the Lord], and I had a lot of fun. Made new friends, and got to see Bryan again. He came to find us before the service for awhile.

You could really feel the Holy Spirit residing there. And what surprised me was that Pastor Kong said he couldnt feel the Holy Spirit as strongly as last time. So actually the Holy Spirit was supposed to be stronger.

I felt odd when everyone started praying in tongue since I couldnt speak tongue. But it was great la.

After that I met Bryan for awhile. Then went with Xavior, Belle and Wendy to Changi to eat. We were walkin around and around and around, trying to find a place to eat. Soon we settled on Burger King and Belle and Wendy went crazy. Started listing who Xavior looked like. Lol. But it was fun la. I reached home around 10 plus.. Its a first for me. I rarely reach home so late because I was afraid of the dark haha. =P

sunday - 4/6/06

Oh man, one week is already gone from my holidays. Anw, I had a great time yesterday. I went with Michelle Chua and Ms Ong to a Christian wedding just to have the experience.

Wah, it was so beautiful! The bride coming in was enough to make you cry. It was soooo beautiful that Michelle was planning her wedding during the reception hahaz. I cant wait for my wedding too. Soooooo beautiful!!

Hmmm, after that we walked Michelle to Suntec's NYDC for her work shift. So tiring lar, walking from City Hall MRT to NYDC. I nearly died. We sat down and we had smth to drink and eat. I had the Lemon Shiver. Its lemonade with sherbert ice-cream inside. Heavenly! But expensive e_e

But it was a good experience at the wedding lah. Very nice. Fun too. Hmm kkz..I gotta go..Gotta get ready for church. Tah!